A bill that would triple the waiting period required for an abortion and force women to watch a video first has gained initial approval from the Missouri House.
Safeway and Albertson's will merge and sell themselves too cheaply through an unfair process to Cerberus Capital, in a $7.5 billion deal that values Safeway shares at only $32.50, shareholders claim in Alameda County Court.
I love the Internet.
It's a fine illustration of the truism that you can't please everybody.
Or maybe anybody.
The best parts of almost any Internet posting that allows comments are the comments. If you want to be entertained, skip over any postings and go right to the responses.
Case in point: a recent American Bar Association Journal web report on a lawyer who insists on a dress code for his law firm.
It's actually just a brief summary of a column he wrote for OC Lawyer Magazine. I believe that's the publication for Obsessive Compulsive attorneys, so a piece on fussy dressing made a lot of sense.
I have no love for fashion police - I dress for failure almost every day. But I could see this OC lawyer was just trying to be helpful by pointing out that some clients are impressed by clothing.
The unfortunate example of this in the guy's column was of an elderly, grumpy Ed Asner in a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" bit complaining about a casually dressed lawyer. (I emphasize the word "elderly.")
It didn't seem like a big deal.
Then came the comments. There were already 22 of them when I checked the day the article was posted. Twenty-one were negative and the other one was a comment on someone else's comment, which was negative too.
I recommend them all. My favorite: "Send this guy to Brooks Brothers to learn a little class. He looks like a bookie. Three-piece suit in SoCal? BTW, is this really from The Onion?"
Good question. There are times when I think the entire Internet is from The Onion.
The real issue here is, how do you say or do anything in public without being heaped with scorn?
The obvious answer is that you can't. Become a public figure of any sort and be prepared for the Snarknado.
But you can mitigate.
Be negative. If you can't say something mean, don't say anything at all. It's more difficult being negative about someone who's already negative.
To use the example of our Obsessive Compulsive attorney, consider how much better he'd have been received if instead of politely criticizing bad outfits and insisting on good fashion, he'd ridiculed some opposing counsel's mismatched socks and loafers.
"Dude thinks the jury won't notice the fit on those puffy jodhpurs. He be lucky they don't convict him for violating the Uniform Dress Code. WOL - Weep Out Loud! #Uglyincourt #Getoutofmyoffice."
Or something like that.
The Internet would have cheered him on.
You need to know your audience.
So what should you wear? If you scour the Internet (and, boy, it sure needs scouring), you'll see there's an awful lot online about how lawyers should dress.
Most of the writers seem to think attorneys should dress up and/or look conservative, but you have to consider the self-selection bias. Those of us who don't care how we look don't care about how other people dress, so what's the point in writing about it?
The best answer to this question that I came across came, not surprisingly, from answer.com: "What is the dress code for lawyers?
"Dark suit and tie. No hats. For women, should wear a dress. Many old-time judges will throw a woman out of court for wearing pants.
"This will vary from jurisdiction, with federal courts being the most strict."
Short, to the point, and not very helpful. Everything on the Internet should be like that.
Five former members of the Bell City Council, who were convicted of misappropriation of public funds and other charges, have sued the city attorney and the Best, Best & Kreiger law office, blaming them for bad advice.
AMBATO, ECUADOR (CN) - After singing a local folk tune, Ecuadorean President Rafael Correa on Saturday answered a New York judge's decision blocking a $9.5 billion verdict against Chevron with a three-hour speech that decried "lies," "bias" and "imperialism."
Long after ascending to the top ranks of the Administrative Office of the Courts, former lobbyist Curt Child is still living in Sacramento, supervising over 100 employees from afar and billing taxpayers for travel to meetings at the AOC's headquarters in San Francisco.
An employee used a software company's on-site exercise and video rooms to sexually assault an 8-year-old girl - and film himself doing it, the girl's mother claims in court.
Jacksonville sheriff's officers stripped naked a man arrested on public intoxication charges and threw him in a cell with a naked accused rapist, who, predictably, sexually assaulted him, the first man claims in court.
Two solar power projects on public land at the California-Nevada border threaten to wipe out the Mojave Desert tortoise, an environmental group claims in Federal Court.
A Newport Beach coin and precious metals dealer scammed thousands of customers by accepting money for pricey coins it never delivered, a class action claims in Federal Court.
A Catholic high school vice president who was fired for marrying his same-sex partner claims in court that the school and archdiocese violated their own policies against sexual orientation and marital status discrimination.
Smokey Robinson sued his ex-wife, Claudette Rogers Robinson, seeking declaratory judgment that he may terminate and "recapture" the copyrights to all the songs he wrote during their marriage, and that she cannot claim interest in them under California community property law.
An emergency room security guard sodomized a 14-year-old girl who had been involuntarily admitted to the hospital, the girl claims in Federal Court.
A bill that would cap medical malpractice jury awards at $350,000 has passed the Missouri House.
A Wisconsin tribe's decision to kill a waste-to-energy project on tribal lands cost the contractor hired to run the plant more than $250 million in lost profits, the contractor claims in court.
FirstEnergy lost its challenge against experts who say toxic "black rain" discharged from its coal-fired electric plant caused a 2-year-old to get sick and go bald.
HashFast Technologies failed to deliver bitcoin-mining computers, Cypher Enterprises claims in Tarrant County Court.
A student was wounded in a shooting at Bronx Regional High School on Dec. 10, 2012, he claims in a complaint against New York City and its Department of Education, in Bronx County Supreme Court.
Homeowners blame United Illuminating Co., Southern Connecticut Gas, and UIL Holdings Corp. for an electricity-sparked natural gas explosion that destroyed their home, in Superior Court.
A federal judge melted down claims that Hershey, Mars and Nestle ran a $726 million chocolate cartel, finding that "nothing scandalous or improper has been discovered."
A woman whose son police shot and killed may have a legal malpractice case against the lawyers who allegedly advised her to pass on a $3 million settlement, a federal judge ruled.
Domino Foods and other sugar companies must face claims from a molasses supplier that the maker of Red Vines blames for a recall of licorice "adulterated" with lead, a federal judge ruled.
An Afghanistan-based contractor accused of using bribes to win inflated transportation contracts must face a $63 million forfeiture action, a federal judge ruled.
After the U.S. government refused to intervene in a man's False Claims Act suit against Coca-Cola, he voluntarily moved to dismiss the misbranding claims.
Granting final approval to a $2 million settlement with Specialty's Cafe and Bakery, a federal judge approved $600,000 in attorneys' fees.
MCM Construction can pay $865,000 to settle minimum wage and overtime claims, plus more than $250,000 in attorneys' fees, a federal judge ruled.
Directors of Dendreon Corp. improperly granted themselves 475,000 more shares than permitted under an incentive plan, a shareholder claims in Federal Court.
Siemens, as successor to UGS Corp., hired Articulus to conduct a three-day "corporate storytelling" sales workshop, then breached contract by stealing what it learned to conduct its own workshops, Articulus claims in Federal Court.
Westminster Mint, Bullion International, et al. sell counterfeit silver coins: the American Silver Eagle and the Canadian Timber Wolf, a class action claims in Federal Court.
Amazon, Hulu, Netflix, Spotify and Verizon violate two patents on transferring live software sessions from one device to another, CRFD Research claims in five federal lawsuits.
The Carpenters Industrial Council, sawmills and lumber companies sued the Secretary of the Interior in Federal Court over Bureau of Land Management plans from 1995 and 1996, for six BLM districts in Oregon.
The Illinois State Police properly fired an agent who sabotaged her ex's romantic getaway by committing identity theft and other misconduct, an appeals court ruled.
In a double blow to gun owners, two federal judges upheld California's definition of assault weapons and a Silicon Valley suburb's ban on large-capacity weapons.
GE and Dresser are trying to sell their Wayne subsidiary for $500 million after swiping the technology for a dispenser system that blends specialty fuel additives into fuel as it is pumped, Additech claims.
Berks Lehigh Regional Police knocked down and Tasered a 76-year-old man six times for no reason whatsoever, telling him only "you know" why they were doing it, he claims in Federal Court.
Google targeted children in bad faith to sell them game-related app downloads, a class action claims in Federal Court.
TULSA - A child was harmed because Lamplight Farms and W.C. Bradley Co. made and Wal-Mart sold Tiki oil (for outdoor lamps) tricked out with scent and coloring that made the child think it was apple juice, a family claims in Tulsa County Court.
The U.S. Forest Service illegally authorized the Hume Roadside and Recreation Site Hazard Tree Project to remove "felled hazard trees" from Giant Sequoia National Monument, Sequoia Forestkeeper claims in Federal Court.
Universal Music Group, as successor to Def Jam Records, owes an accounting and royalties to Hip Hop Global Media as assignee of Surrender Records, Hip Hop claims in a $250,000 complaint in New York County Supreme Court.
NBA player Jrue Holiday (New Orleans Pelicans) claims Rival Sports Group, Stockcross Financial Services et al. owe him an accounting and damages for breach of fiduciary duty, in Superior Court.
Target, CVS Caremark, H.J. Heinz et al. violate patent on a "Method and Apparatus for Accessing Electronic Data Via a Familiar Printed Medium," Marshall Feature Recognition claims in six federal lawsuits.
Directors are selling Supertex too cheaply through an unfair process to Microchip Technology, for $33 a share or $376 million, investors claim in Santa Clara County Court.