A judge invoked the United Kingdom's general warrants Friday to protest an en banc Second Circuit decision that gives prosecutors a pass for waiting years to bring charges after seizing evidence. 

     Clashing with the Wisconsin Supreme Court, a federal judge threw out claims by a conservative official whose home was searched amid a campaign-finance investigation. 

     The Ninth Circuit on Friday dismissed a California Indian tribe's claims that the federal government violated its right to self-government by interfering with tribal elections, since the tribe's new constitution mooted its claims. 

     The Brattleboro Reformer may not be the worst daily newspaper in the United States, but if it's not, it's not for lack of not trying.
     "[Name], a certified Angel Card Reader, receives messages through a client's spirit guides. The client should leave the session with positive information and a sense of reassurance of what one already knows."
     The Reformer printed that as news.
     That ain't news.
     It sounds like the Republican primaries: Candidates with no standards at all (certified Angel Card Readers) reassuring voters about what voters think they already know.
     Who "certifies" people for this, and how?
     I know how I'd like to get them certified.
     But we can't blame newspapers for our country's degradation of values. When half the nation has become unhinged from reality, what's a newspaper to do?
     Republican lawmakers in Oklahoma have introduced a resolution asking their congressional delegation to impeach President Obama, for recommending that public schools let transgender students pee in the bathroom of their choice.
     This is a stern resolution — in the sense that "stern" means "moronic" and "absolute horseshit."
     Reuters consulted "legal experts," who said the call for impeachment "is on shaky ground," as the president did not actually do anything. He just recommended something, which is not a high crime or misdemeanor.
     This transgender bathroom brouhaha is absolute nonsense. Transgender kids in public schools are not dangerous. Transgender kids are the ones who get beat up in public schools.
     Planting his flag atop this mountain of manure was Oklahoma state Rep. John Bennett, R-Sillisaw, who said President Obama should be impeached because he is "biblically wrong."
     I called Bennett — the chairman of Oklahoma's Public Safety Committee — to ask why he thought a U.S. president could be impeached for being "biblically wrong."
     Bennett never called back. Busy raising money from his coven, I suppose.
     Bennett's statement is so idiotic it's not even wrong: It has no meaning at all.
     The Oklahoma Senate could not take up the impeachment resolution this week, as it was discussing a bill granting students the religious right not to have to pee in the same bathroom as a transgender student.
     That piece of legislative witchcraft would cost taxpayers billions of dollars: to build Religiously Pure Bathrooms in all of Oklahoma's 1,791 public schools. But Oklahoma is facing a $1.3 billion budget shortfall, despite its drastic cuts to public education.
     It's odd that Oklahoma lawmakers are so worried about where children pee, since Oklahoma lawmakers have been screwing kids longer and harder than any other state in the nation.
     Since the Great Recession, Oklahoma has cut per capita spending on public education by 23.6 percent, according to the Oklahoma Policy Institute: far more than the second-worst state, Alabama (-17.8%) and the third-worst, Arizona (-17.6%).
     Look at those states. Look at what they're doing.
     How far can ignorance take us?
     Pretty far these days, so long as politicians can pander their own perversions for money and walk over little kids' faces in pursuit of votes from scaredy-cats.
     What a country.
     Seeking solace from these idiots and degenerates, I opened up W. Creizenach's "English Drama in the Age of Shakespeare," (London, 1916). A bookmark fluttered out, a fragment torn from a 100-year-old letter.
     There, in fading ink were the letters: "Yet I can hardly believe i / is note to thank you again / ime, and to tell you how".
     For some reason I found those words consoling. I had no idea who wrote them, nor to whom. Both people are surely dead.
     Know why that little scrap of news from dead people lightened my heart? Because those words were genuine. And we so seldom hear such words today.

     A Ninth Circuit judge railed against his colleagues Friday for going along with a statutory interpretation he said transforms judges "into Humpty Dumpties." 

     In the long-running litigation between Courthouse News and the court clerk in Ventura, a federal judge on Thursday ruled in favor of the press on a series of key points. The judge found that the right to review a new complaint attaches as soon as it is received by the clerk, and he rejected the clerk's policy of withholding access until the complaint is processed.

     A federal judge awarded more than $270,000 in attorneys' fees to a Muslim woman whose co-workers at the French Embassy gave her grief about terrorist attacks. 

     Over the objections of Connecticut's comptroller and a state representative, the state's bond commission on Friday approved $22 million in loans and grants for the world's largest hedge fund.

     A California man's murder conviction was overturned Thursday because a dental expert recanted his testimony about a bite mark from the man's unusual teeth. 

     The California Supreme Court ruled that a 50-year-to-life sentence for a juvenile convicted of murder is constitutional because he will receive a parole hearing after 25 years of incarceration. 

     A 19-year-old Virginia man claims a police detective forcibly procured pictures of his penis and threatened to inject him with an erection-causing drug during a sexting investigation. 

     Workers raising a waterfront home in New Jersey made a nautical discovery: a 44-foot wooden boat from the 19th century.

     Navy officials this week said they will investigate discrepancies in the number of medals "American Sniper" Navy SEAL Chris Kyle was awarded, after documents surfaced that contradict claims he made in his best-selling autobiography.


     Gun rights activists and a Republican gubernatorial candidate took aim at a California law barring footage from Assembly hearings from being used in political ads, and sued the state for it Thursday. 

     A mother claims in a class action that Sharp Healthcare in San Diego took 15,000 videos of women giving birth and let security guards watch them, in an attempt to catch a single drug-stealing employee. 

     A journalist can hunt for evidence that Sheldon Adelson has a potty mouth to parry a lawsuit the Republican billionaire filed against her in Hong Kong, the Second Circuit ruled. 

     Spanish archaeologists say they have discovered an exceptional set of Paleolithic-era cave drawings that could rank among the best in a country that already boasts some of the world's most important cave art.

     A Texas grand jury has filed a new money laundering charge against the mother of "affluenza" killer Ethan Couch, who fled with him to Mexico last year.

     A one-time gunrunner turned author claims in court actor Bradley Cooper, director Todd Phillips and Warner Brothers Entertainment stole his autobiography to make the upcoming comedy "War Dogs." 

     A prominent Florida doctor implicated in a corruption scandal involving Sen. Robert Menendez is battling civil claims that he injected tainted meds into patients' eyes, permanently damaging their vision. 

     An attorney for a pet store chain faces charges that could put him in a cage for life, if convicted of perjury and obstruction of justice during a multimillion-dollar contract dispute. 

     A federal judge dismissed with leave to amend a Disney shareholders class action over anticompetitive labor agreements between animation studios, finding the plaintiffs did not show that Disney's board of directors knew about the conspiracy. 

     David B. Kaplan Esq. and his Synchronized Organizational Solutions and Manna International companies took $15.8 million in a Ponzi scam, the SEC claims in Federal Court. 

     Joshua Jay Hansen, 34, of Cache County, Utah, defrauded investors of $1.8 million in a bogus "top secret" Iraqi dinar scam, the SEC claims in Federal Court. 

     Macy's West and Bloomingdale's advertised discounts from false original prices, a class action claims in Federal Court. 

     A Lucchese family mobster who goes by Boopsie ran an illegal online gambling ring that netted $13 million in just six months, a new federal indictment charges.

     The Atlantic hurricane season should be "near normal" in 2016, with 10 to 16 named storms and possibly as many as four major hurricanes, federal forecasters predicted Friday.


     A federal judge this week certified a class of employees and former employees who claim major animation companies conspired to suppress their wages. 

     California has no case against Delta for claims that the airline collected consumers' personal information through its mobile app without a privacy policy in place, a state appeals court ruled. 

     A giant data breach case against Anthem and Blue Cross appears headed for trial after a federal judge told attorneys at a case management conference to move on to discovery.

     A Tennessee sheriff, his uncle and an administrative deputy were indicted on federal corruption charges for their role in a company that sells e-cigarettes to inmates. 

     The attorney whose small nonprofit won access to CIA and Defense Department records is entitled to $55,000 in fees, a federal judge ruled. 

     Comcast need not produce subscriber records for a U.K. defamation case involving the abduction and murder 12 years ago of a woman in Lebanon, a federal judge ruled. 

     After juggling a dense docket of technology patent cases for six years, U.S. Magistrate Judge Paul Grewal is trading his black robe for a high-profile post on Facebook's legal team.

     In response to North Korea's nuclear weapons testing earlier this year, the EU Council on Friday banned most trade and financial transactions and barred all North Korean vessels from entering the European Union.

     The EU Council on Friday extended sanctions against the Syrian regime for another year — save humanitarian aid — and said it "remains committed to finding a lasting solution to the conflict in Syria."

     The Peter Karmanos Jr. Stock LP sued its namesake, saying the Compuware founder has failed to pay promissory notes worth $105 million. 

     Sunoco and Enbridge face a lawsuit from neighbors of the Marysville Pump Station and Tank Farm, who say fuel for the massive Line 5 pipeline is making them sick. 

     Hugs & Snugs locked up for the night with a 2-year-old alone inside, not discovering him until morning, the boy's mom claims in court. She thought the baby's father had picked up the child from day care. 

     Tri-Valley Learning Corp. ran the Livermore Valley Charter School, whose karate teacher and security guard sexually molested a girl, and is in prison for it, she claims in Alameda County Court. 

     The Caddo Nation sued the Wichita and Affiliated Tribes in Federal Court, claiming excavation for a History Center will disturb Caddo remains. 

     A federal class action claims ADT Security Services' home security system cannot detect the sound of breaking tempered glass. 

     The Food and Drug Administration must implement stricter standards to protect consumers from tainted raw oysters, a nonprofit claims in a federal action. 

     Indiana's new abortion restrictions will hamper stem cell research into neurological disorders, Indiana University claims in a federal complaint. 

     A recent suit filed in Hawaii Federal Court offers a glimpse into the strange world of incarceration, and an even stranger intersection of lives — a proverbial case of strange bedfellows or, in this case, cellmates.

     Striking Verizon employees may be back to work next week after the company and its unions reached an agreement in principle for a four-year contract.

     Two of the police officers charged with manslaughter in the death of Freddie Gray are suing prosecutors for defamation, newly unsealed records show. 


     A New York attorney sued a star of "Orange County Housewives" and "Botched," claiming she and her husband defamed him as a "con artist, thief, and scammer" in a relentless barrage of emails and on social media.


     The surviving members of Led Zeppelin will defend themselves against claims that they ripped off parts of "Stairway to Heaven" in person, according to papers filed in Federal Court this week.

     The U.S. gross domestic product, the broadest measure of the nation's economic output, grew at an annual rate of 0.8 percent in the first quarter of 2016, the Commerce Department said Friday. 

     A second round of U.S. Coast Guard investigative hearings into the sinking of the freighter El Faro ended Friday, closing a sometimes contentious proceeding.


     The Department of Labor wants to cancel more than $75 million in federal contracts with Pilgrim's Pride for systematic discrimination against female, black and white jobseekers at a chicken plant east of Dallas.

     Two Southern Californians took $10 million from investors by promising to buy pre-IPO shares in companies such as Airbnb and Uber, the SEC says, but they spent none of the money on that. 

     National Liberation Army rebels have freed a Spanish journalist who went missing a week ago in a lawless region of Colombia, according to the Roman Catholic Church, which helped secure her release.

     President Barack Obama paid tribute Friday to the "silent cry" of the 140,000 victims of the atomic bomb dropped 71 years ago on Hiroshima, and called on the world to abandon "the logic of fear" that encourages the stockpiling of nuclear weapons.